Fit to Fat to Fit

M.'s Topic: What are your thoughts on the concept of fit-fat-fit?

I think M likes it when I get riled! 😉 (I'm going to try not to though.)

So when M was deciding my topic for this week, she asked me if I had ever heard of the show "Fit to Fat to Fit." I had a vague memory of it, which I believe was actually her mentioning a commercial she had seen for this new, unusual fitness/makeover/new you/weight loss/exercise show, which she confirmed I was correct about. 

Now, I've never watched the show, so I'm not fully informed of the methods by which this was done, but I doubt my opinion would change much if an extremely informed person were to extremely inform me that I was way off on my thoughts of this, AND my understanding of the participants methods. 

But here's how it works: 

Very fit fitness coaches spend several months gaining weight. This must be done in an unhealthy way- I can't imagine there's any way to gain a ton of weight quickly and still be healthy about it. That's strike one. Really, that's actually all the strikes. And I consider that to be many, many, many strikes.

It's actually a novel idea to have weight loss fitness coaches losing their (over)weight right alongside their clients. The idea is (other than the opportunity to come up with a new reality show to make a whopping lot of money from) that having the same starting point as their clients enables them to relate to their client. 

While that seems cool in theory, it seems very superficial. Like, six pack-spray tan-bleach blonde hair superficial.

Those in professions that work with other individuals should certainly be able to build rapport with their clients/patients/students/what have you, without compromising their physical systems with the shock of rapidly gaining far too much weight and then turning around and trying to drop all of it. There is simply no way this can be healthy.

The other thing is that while it's a huge shock to their system that no one in their right mind (with a health and fitness background) should do, it's also demonstrating very unhealthy choices to past, current, and future clients. Not just their clients, but everyone who sees or hears about the show! 

It may be an interesting show, and I can see where the clients/coaches may feel closer and possibly more motivated in this kind of situation, I am completely, totally, without a doubt opposed to the idea of fit-fat-fit.

Just be kind, motivating, creative, supportive, hard working, loving, caring, weight lifting, walking, jogging, dancing, swimming, balancing, laughing, smiling, hydrated, 80/20-healthy-to-unhealthy diet ratioing, empathizing FRIENDS, and do your best to walk alongside your clients without compromising your own dang health, folks!

And now, excuse me while I carefully step all the way down the staircase from my soapbox.

Be healthy, y'all.

Road Trip Tips: 10 Things I Learned from Experience

M's Topic: What have you learned about traveling - good and bad?

Growing up, my family vacations consisted of road trips and camping, I did it as a single adult and with college friends, and I've also traveled long distances in a car alone with my son. Since road tripping is kind of my thing, that's what I'm going to go with here.

1. Make sure you like the people you're traveling with, before you commit to hours and hours in a vehicle with this person. Not only do you travel in close quarters when road tripping, remember that frequently you are stuck with this person once you arrive at your destination, as well. This isn't always the case, as sometimes your destination allows you to split up and do your own thing before traveling home (or figure out a different way to travel home, Lord willing); however, the biggest piece of advice for choosing your travel partners is to know them very well before you even hypothetically start talking about a trip.

I made this mistake once in college and spent a week on vacation with a person that I had only known for about a month. You know how it is in college, where you only know someone for 2 or 3 weeks, and it feels like a million years? Well, it's not a million years! Don't fool yourselves!

It was a terrible experience. It was a terrible experience for me and for the people we were visiting. I can't imagine that it was a good experience for my travel-mate. Do not make this mistake.

And be realistic about what you (and they) can handle, personality-wise, prior to making arrangements for a trip.

2. Be flexible. Do not plan to road trip if you have to have a rigid schedule and can't alter it by even 15 minutes. I've heard of those people, and they scare me!! The point of road tripping isn't just the destination. Sure, you want to get there, but the point of it all is the journey! Enjoy the sights. Stop, stretch, go to a zoo, eat a pizza in the middle of some random town. Do something! Flexibility is important regardless of your travel mates, be they friends, spouses, siblings, college friends, toddlers.

My roommate and I made another trip during college with a third friend, and I would like to publicly compliment them on their ability- nay, their incredible level of achievement of flexibility in travel plans! We knew our ultimate destination, we knew what day we wanted to arrive there, and aside from a few other vague details, everything else was subject to change as we desired.

Stop at a beach to check for pirate ships, for gosh sake!

My roommate also looked ahead to check out some details for specific regions, in case we had time to kill in any particular region, which leads me to the next piece of advice.

3. Do a little research ahead of time. That's kind of opposite to the bit about being flexible, but it's pretty smart to do anyway. Don't set a rigorous schedule, just come up with basic ideas so that you can either throw them with the wind later, or have great ideas to enjoy your time wherever you are!

Now I'm all for tourist attractions, but look for the off the wall things to do, too! Whether it's visiting a local park, a goat farm, a national monument, a guided tour, or a clambake, check out what each area has to offer before you head out.

By "do a little research ahead of time," I also mean "do have a backup plan ready to put into use if the kinda-not-super-confirmed overnight stay at a campground in the backwoods of Alabama doesn't turn out to be an actual place to camp." Otherwise, you might end up sleeping here, like we did on this fateful trip.

We definitely surprised these guys when they rolled into church on Tuesday morning in their suits and found us sleeping in their parking lot. 

4. Organize your packing by the day. I learned this after years of digging in frustration through my bags, and ultimately coming home with more unworn clothes than dirty. I do this when I'm traveling on my own, even for a one night trip, and I especially recommend doing this if you're toting kids! I don't just mean write a list out of the things you want to wear on each day.

In theory, you should never have to deal with this again when traveling, if you follow this packing system. 

When I pack my son's clothes, I put each night's pajamas and the following day's clothing in a gallon ziploc bag, and then I label the bag with the day that it's going to be worn. That way, I don't have to dig and dig in a huge duffel bag for lost socks or try to match outfits while I'm traveling. This is especially helpful during late night arrivals, as I can just grab the ziploc labeled for the next day, and in it I can find the pajamas I need to put on my son that night, along with the clothes he'll wear the next morning.

Toiletries are also packed into baggies, with dental hygiene items packed into a small baggie, shower items packed into a second small baggie, and both of those dropped into another gallon ziploc.

All I need to grab out of my car are my child and my purse, toiletry ziploc, and clothing ziploc, all of which (except the child) can be tossed into one small over the shoulder bag. It pays to simplify your packing in this way! Requires a little more organization ahead of time, but it is SO WORTH IT.

**I also always pack at least one back up set of clothes for my son, and toss it in the back of the duffel bag. Common sense for moms, but still. It also helps prevent overpacking! :)

5. Give yourself a travel allowance ahead of time, and stick to it. I'm so bad with this. When I travel, I just spend away, and cross my fingers that I'm not running out of money.

On the other hand, I don't go on extravagant vacations, so when I spend money, I'm talking a ferry tour of a lagoon (Creature from the Black Lagoon status!), a zoo visit, meals, and not a whole lot of other expenses besides gas or maybe one night in a hotel. I also like to tent camp, which is a hugely exciting adventure for the little kiddies, and a big money saver for the big mommies. Win-win!

In other words, I'm not going crazy with my money here. Still, I don't plan a budget for my trips, and that's something I always plan to change with each trip. I would recommend building a budget, and sticking to it as closely as possible, but also keeping an extra $200 or so on the side for emergencies, or for leeway if you're a spartan budget builder!

6. Stay with a local. I know this isn't always possible, but my best trips included staying with someone from the area, or traveling with someone who has some kind of connection, even if they're not actually from the area I'm visiting.

For example: You get a fun trip out  to see this osprey with your friendly neighborhood tour guides! 

First of all, it cuts back on the stress of being alone in an unfamiliar place. Even if that's not a situation that stresses you out. Things like that don't bother me, but as a single mom, there is a bit of security knowing that there is someone in the region that you can rely on if something crazy happens.

If you're staying in someone's home, it obviously has the benefit of being cheaper than paying for a hotel room each night. The added benefits include people to socialize with, security in being with people, the ability to eat in instead of eating out for every meal, and the knowledge that person has of their community and it's lesser known attractions!

My roommate and I stayed in the home of her family friends in the Florida panhandle, and we were introduced to a lot of places we would never have known existed without them telling us to check it out. It was a lot of fun, and definitely something that I appreciated.

7. Try the local cuisine! Even if it sounds gross or a little more hillbilly than you've ever had, still give it a try. Chances are slim that you'll have the opportunity again for quite a while, and don't you want to say you tried it?

Now, that said, don't break your budget on one meal!! My roommate and I were very thrifty on our road trip to Florida, and as such, we considered it worthwhile to have dinner at an extremely expensive restaurant to celebrate our friend's birthday. I have never had another meal as expensive, but it was quite an experience and worth it for that trip.  Plus, we had saved money prior to our trip specifically to designate to that experience.

I have not since gone to another restaurant that expensive, nor do I plan to do so any time in the near future (and most likely not any time in the distant future, either). There are always ways to get the same experience for less- you don't have to eat at a famous restaurant just to have a food that an entire region is famous for providing. You can have the same food prepared at a place more frequented by locals, and probably for much less than the tourist attracting famous restaurant. Now, if you want to be able to say you ate at that restaurant, go for it. Suits me not to for the most part, though!

8. Fill up on gas before you need to fill up on gas. This may sound obnoxious or inconvenient to you, as it means stopping for gas a little more often than you'd like to, but one thing you definitely don't want to have happen is running out of gas on the side of an interstate. Or on the side of only God knows where on some back road in a state that is not yours.

I went on a road trip about a week after buying myself a new car, and realized on the trip back, at 5:00am, about an hour and fifteen minutes away from home, that I was on empty. I wasn't familiar with the car and so didn't realize how soft the ding was to alert me that my gas tank was low and it also hadn't occurred to me yet that my gas gauge was obscured from my view by my steering wheel when I had it adjusted properly for myself.

The next exit with a gas station sign turned up a gas station that was closed for business, and when I got back on the toll road, I made it another fifteen minutes on the road before my car sputtered to a stop. Thank goodness I was close to home, so someone arrived with gas at 6:00am while Magoo slept away in the backseat. If the same thing had happened, and I hadn't been near family and friends, it would not have been a good situation, with semis roaring past, rattling my car, while I sat on the side of the road in the dark with a sleeping two year old.

Lesson learned: Don't get low on gas!!

9. Travel during the time the kids are most likely to be asleep. Obvs, this tip is for those with children, or who have the luck of traveling with friends who have children. (I'm looking at you, M!) When my son was an infant, it wasn't such a big deal, but I also wasn't traveling more than two hours away from home during that time. In fact, I don't think we traveled longer distances than two hours until Magoo turned two.

At any rate, I have found that the trips are best when Magoo is asleep for the duration of them. Sucks to be the grownup in this case!! When making a six hour trip, I shoot for leaving just before Magoo's bedtime. When making a 10 hour trip, I try to leave just before Magoo's afternoon nap time. This way, in each case, he falls asleep within an hour of leaving home.

If we leave before nap time, Magoo takes a long nap, wakes up, finds some fun and exciting toys that he isn't allowed to play with when he's at home (or, on one trip, a portable dvd player that I borrowed from a mom friend - thank you) and he's super excited to be in the car with these things. After playing with the fun-and-exciting toys, we eat dinner (sometimes just snackie things, which is also a super exciting novelty to N), and then he's ready to play with the fun-and-exciting toys again OR watches a movie.

Next, he's out for the night. So easy.

This travel plan ultimately allows for me to arrive at my destination anytime between midnight and 2:00 am, which works great for me, as N sleeps all night, isn't crazed from being in the car and bored all day, and I still get a couple hours of sleep that night.

You just have to figure out what works for you, and make it work. This is my current favorite option.

Disclaimer: That worked great when he was in diapers. I'm not so sure how the next long distance trip will work, now that he's in undies, but we'll make it work.

Second disclaimer: I also haven't driven farther than 12 hours with him, so if that were to happen, I would obviously have to adjust my travel plans in some way to prevent me from driving until 4:00 am.

10. Have fun! Everything can be fun. Even if you're miserable at butterfly garden, try to see it from the point of the view of the person that suggested it and that was crazy-out-of-their-mind-excited about the prospect of visiting a butterfly garden. This is hard to do as a child, but the people reading this are adults, and can totally do it. Give a little, get a little.

Allow others to do the things that excite them, and share their excitement. Even if you don't really, still give it your best shot, and you may find yourself actually enjoying your time! You certainly want others to do the same for you, and your travel mates will have more fun with you during activities that they're less excited about, if you are a good sport during activities that you are less excited about.

In other words, be a good travel mate, yourself. And enjoy your trip!

Oh, and a freebie: When at a beach in Florida in early April, wear more sunblock than you think you need! AND DON'T FORGET TO APPLY TO ARMPITS AND THE BACK OF KNEES. Just take my word for it. You don't want to learn that lesson through experience.

How Many Kids Do YOU Have?

One of my coworkers at my current internship is the mother of seven children. We recently had a conversation about kids, parenting, and society, and she told me that 80% of the time, the response she receives from people who have just learned she has a family of nine is either negative or downright rude.

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

"You have how many kids?!"

"So you don't believe in birth control?"

I had fewer siblings, but still more than any of my friends growing up. There were five kids, which equaled a family of seven. I never knew the kinds of comments my parents received for having five kids, until I became a parent myself. Though my son is an only child, I had originally hoped for him to have two or three siblings. When I told my mother that I wanted for N to have a couple brothers or sisters, or both, she talked about her choice to have a "big" family, and that's when I learned the things that both friends and total strangers said to my parents.

"You have how many kids?!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Do you know how that works?"

Here's the deal, people. While I'm the first one to admit that 19 Kids and Counting freaks me out (when parents start assigning parental roles to other children due to sheer numbers overwhelming them, such as requiring siblings to pay other siblings to "chaperone" dates, that's just too much), who are we to judge? 

I have one child. I'm a single parent now so I'm not in a good situation to start adding new children to my family. Is it right for families with 2+ children to start judging me because I only have one child? They may think my son will grow up to be super spoiled (it's very possible - he's the only grandchild or niece/nephew on my side of the family, plus I see myself going overboard sometimes because I don't want him to miss out on anything that kids in two parent home may have, although I've been actively trying to reel myself in a bit), and that their children will be better balanced since they will have siblings to have to learn to live with. That may be true. But they aren't in my situation.

Should I judge them for having more kids? Because the greater amount of kids in their families means it's impossible for each child to have the amount of love, care, attention, and protection necessary for them to grow to become well balanced adults, right? Parents of four or more kids can't be adequate parents to all of their kids. No way.

Or maybe having big families is healing. Who am I to judge anyone for making those choices in their lives? 

Everyone should be allowed to make their own choices in their lives, whichever ones are the best decisions for them. If a person believes they are in a good position to have a family (and I don't just mean a good financial position, I mean if they feel they can do it, and they know they will do what it takes to be good parents), why shouldn't they choose to have a kid, or five, or seven?

Think about what's best for you, for your partner, for your existing child/children, and what's best for any future child/children, and make the right decision after considering all the factors. For that matter, don't have kids if you believe it's not the right decision for yourself. 

Point is, don't judge others for their choices, and don't let others do the same to you.

Just do what you believe is best for you and your family.